Top 5 Surrogacy Misconceptions
By a Fertility Lawyer Focused on the Ethics of Growing a Family Through Assisted Reproduction
Surrogacy is one of the most meaningful and often misunderstood paths to parenthood. At Oleaga Law LLC, we work with intended parents, surrogates, and donors across the United States to ensure that every family-building journey is ethical, legally secure, thoughtfully structured, and aligned with your values.
Below, we break down the top five surrogacy misconceptions we regularly hear and what you actually need to know before starting your journey.
1. “The Surrogate Is the Baby’s Mother”
This misconception persists despite decades of medical and legal advancement.
In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate (also called a gestational carrier) has no genetic connection to the child. Instead, embryos are created using the egg and sperm of the intended parents or donors and then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus through an embryo transfer procedure at a fertility clinic.
From a legal perspective, this distinction is critical. While gestational surrogacy is permitted in most jurisdictions throughout the United States, traditional surrogacy arrangements are heavily restricted, and in some jurisdictions, illegal. At Oleaga Law LLC, we draft gestational surrogacy agreements that comply with relevant state laws and act as the roadmap for the entirety of your surrogacy journey. Your comprehensive surrogacy agreement will also address how parentage will be established, pre-birth and/or post-birth depending on your jurisdiction and the details of your gestational surrogacy arrangement.
What this means for you:
Gestational surrogacy is not about separating a biological mother from her child – it is a way to grow your family when biology does not permit you or your partner to gestate a pregnancy.
2. “Surrogacy Is Legally Risky”
Many intended parents worry about worst-case scenarios, and we have all heard at least one story, whether fact or fiction, about a surrogacy journey gone awry. The truth is, when you adhere to the laws in your jurisdiction surrogacy is a legally secure process ensuring the intended parents are the legal parents of their child once he/she arrives, and ensuring the surrogate has no legal or parental responsibilities for the child.
In reality, when you are working with ethical surrogacy agencies and IVF clinics and reputable professionals, surrogacy is a highly structured legal process. A properly managed surrogacy journey includes at a minimum:
- Medical and Mental health evaluations
- Independent legal counsel for all parties
- Health insurance for the surrogate
- Life insurance for the surrogate
- A comprehensive surrogacy agreement
- Independent escrow agent
- Coordination with clinics and agencies (through your agency and attorney)
- Pre-birth or post-birth parentage orders
At Oleaga Law LLC, we proactively address issues including medical decision-making, insurance coverage, compensation, reimbursements, lifestyle restrictions, medical protocols, and other logistics to best manage the expectations of all parties and avoid surprises later in the journey. If you adhere to the laws applicable to your jurisdiction, and abide by well-recognized best practices, you can be assured that your surrogacy arrangement is legally secure.
What this means for you:
Surrogacy is not legally uncertain but it is an intensive process with many moving parts. Closely following the laws in your jurisdiction and abiding by the best practices in the professional surrogacy community protects everyone involved.
The following pages include information for ethical surrogacy journeys:
- ASRM: Consideration of the Gestational Carrier: An Ethics Committee Opinion
- SEEDS Ethics
- AllPaths: Surrogacy in 2026 and Beyond
3. “Surrogates Can Change Their Mind”
This fear is understandably the most common, but largely rooted in outdated or inaccurate portrayals of surrogacy in the media.
Modern surrogacy arrangements are built on:
- Careful screening and matching
- Informed consent
- Detailed legal agreements
- Independent legal counsel
- Ongoing communication and support
Additionally, surrogates have clearly defined rights, including bodily autonomy and independent legal representation which strengthens, rather than weakens, the integrity of the process.
What this means for you:
A well-structured surrogacy journey is based on alignment among the parties, transparency, communication, and enforceable expectations—not uncertainty.
4. “Surrogacy Is a Simple, Quick Process”
In reality, surrogacy is a multi-phase legal and medical journey that requires planning and coordination.
A typical process includes:
- Matching with a qualified surrogate
- Medical and mental health screenings
- Securing health insurance, life insurance, and other insurance
- Legal contract drafting and negotiation
- Embryo transfer procedure(s)
- Pregnancy and delivery
- Parentage finalization (pre-birth, post-birth, and sometimes both)
At Oleaga Law LLC, we help clients stay organized with clear timelines, checklists, and proactive issue-spotting, including cross-border legal considerations, conflict of law issues, and contingency planning.
What this means for you:
Surrogacy is not fast, but with the right team of professionals it can be predictable in process, organized, and well-managed.
5. “All Surrogacy Journeys Look the Same”
No two families and no two surrogacy journeys are alike.
Your journey may involve egg donors, sperm donors, embryo donors, cross-border legal considerations, multiple embryo transfer attempts, parentage-specific requirements, specific preferences for the intended parents or the surrogate, and any number of details unique to your surrogacy arrangement.
That’s why at Oleaga Law LLC we take a personalized, client-centered approach, tailoring every agreement to reflect your specific goals, relationships, and values.
What this means for you:
Your legal strategy should be as unique as your family.
Final Thoughts: Clarity Creates Confidence
Surrogacy is not just a medical process, it’s a legal foundation for your family’s future.
The biggest misconceptions about surrogacy often stem from outdated information or lack of guidance. With the right team of professionals, you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.
At Oleaga Law LLC, our mission is simple:
to help you grow your family with confidence and security every step of the way.
